


Strange, 'cause we're all just a little bit weird sometimes.

by Faerirye



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: A little kinda thing, AUSTRALIAN FOOTBALL, And Luke is taking Harry to football, But Luke also is looking after Zoey, Cal and Luke aren't dating, Calum is a knight in shining armor, Calum to the rescue, M/M, NOT THE RUGBY THING THAT AMERICANS CALL FOOTBALL, SOCCER FOOTBALL, THIS IS ENGLISH FOOTBALL, This is a shit fic, and he look good, and the football mums know it, because Ash isn't around, european football, okay?, product of procrastination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 23:58:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4938913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faerirye/pseuds/Faerirye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum rescues Luke. From the football mums. With the biggest load of lies Luke had ever heard. Since when was Luke a girl?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange, 'cause we're all just a little bit weird sometimes.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Weird by HANSON. This fic hasn't really got anything to do with that song but I like the lyrics.

**TO CALLIE <3 :45PM**

Help!

**TO CALLIE <3 3:45PM**

Cal all the mums are attacking me!

**TO CALLIE <3 3:46PM**

They’re asking about football. I know nothing about football. Help me!

**FROM CALLIE <3 3:47PM**

Just do your usual thing you’ll be fine

**TO CALLIE <3 3:47PM**

Great advice >-<

**TO CALLIE <3 3:50PM**

They’re looking over my shoulder! At what I’m texting! Someone’s asking about ‘my Callie’!

**TO CALLIE <3 3:51PM**

Why did you change your name to ‘Callie <3’ ???????

**TO CALLIE <3 3:53PM**

Calum?

**TO CALLIE <3 3:54PM**

Cal please!

**TO CALLIE <3 3:54PM**

PLEASE CALUM! I’M BEING MOLESTED BY FOOTBALL MUMS!

**FROM CALLIE <3 3:57**

I’m coming now. Don’t die xxx

 

-

 

“Aww how adorable” One mum cooed at Zoe who hid her face in Luke’s top. Luke nodded awkwardly, shifting Zoe up his hip. Where was Calum?

“Is she yours?” The same woman asked, stepping closer. Luke took a step back. Calum should be here now! “Uh, no. My niece.”

“But you’re married? I thought she was yours” She asked

“No. I’m not married”

“But you wear a ring!” She pointed out. Luke internally cursed.

“It’s a promise ring. My, uh, my Callie gave it to me at graduation”

“And you’re still together?” She cooed again “How sweet!”

“Yeah we’re still together. Cal will be here in a minute”

“Oh she’s lucky to have you!” The mum beamed.

Luke stepped back again “Oh no. Cal’s not-I’m not.”

“Cal’s not what?” A new voice asked. Luke almost collapsed in relief. Calum stood behind him grinning. “A girl?” Luke said questioningly

“No Luke, I am not a girl. Being together seven years I figured you would know that by now”

“Oh” The mum said “So you’re Cal?”

“Yeah. Nice to meet you, uh. Sorry I don’t know your name”

“Oh” She flushed “Lily. Nice to meet you too”

“That’s nice” Calum’s grin grew “Our daughter’s called Lily”

“What?” Both Lily and Luke yelped at the same time.

Lily recovered first “Oh that’s nice. Is she playing today?”

“No Harry is. He’s our oldest”

Behind Lily the football mum Luke chocked.

“My Roman’s playing” Lily gestured to a boy who was dancing around the goal “How many kids have you got?”

“Seven. Sort of. Harry, Asha, Loz, Lucia, Mikey, Lily and little Zoe here” He said smiling at Zoe who was still stubbornly tucked into Luke’s shirt.

“I thought Zoe was his, was your niece?”

“She is” Calum said sadly “But there was a car accident. We look after how now”

Luke’s face was bright red.

“Oh I’m sorry!” She apologised quickly.

“It’s fine” Calum shook her off. “Luke’s a good mum despite not giving birth to her”

“What?”

“Luke’s a girl. Luke is short for Lukasa”

“Oh” Lily looked back at Luke, eyes moving up and down. She sounded disbelieving; neither Calum nor Luke could help that. Luke was 6’4” and had no chest to speak of as well as the broadest shoulders ever.

“Well I’m going to go now. Nice meeting you…” She trailed off, stepping away

“You too” Calum called out at her retreating back, still grinning.

“What?” Luke squeaked out, turning to face Calum. “I’m female? Short for Lukasa?  Been together for seven years? Seven children! And Harry. You said Harry and Loz were our kids”

“And Ash and Mikey” Calum said cheerfully. “And the Lucia was a version of you”

“Calum!” Luke groaned “You just said my boyfriend was my kid. And I’m too young to have kids! I’m twenty! How can we have been together for seven years if I’m twenty?”

“What?” He smiled innocently “I was rescuing you! And Zoe liked it, didn’t you Zoe?”

Zoe finally removed her head from Luke’s shirt, laughing “I’m your kid!”

“See?” Calum beamed “Anyway I heard you telling her that I gave you that ring you have. The ring that you’re mum gave you”

“Shut up!” Luke pushed him away “That was believable before you came along and made up all that shit!”

“I think the entirety of the mum’s here think we’re aliens. Or contagious” Calum said, looking to where Lily stood with a group of people, whispering and sending an occasional glance their way. “I thought girls grew out of gossiping in secondary school?”

Luke shook his head “Remember to tell Ash that no matter how much I love him I’m not going to watch Harry’s football matches again”.

**Author's Note:**

> So I don't really know what this is....


End file.
